Monday, November 26, 2012

There Are Times...

When I just shake my head.

On Facebook today, I saw a picture of a "toothed female condom" being circulated.  The device is called Rape-aXe and was designed by a doctor in South Africa, who, unfortunately, has had to treat far too many victims of rape.  One of her patients apparently said, "if only I had teeth down there".

Now, in South Africa, where rape is apparently the national sport, a condom embedded with "teeth" might be a woman's only defense.  However, here in the US, we have lots and lots of options for self-defense, the first being SITUATIONAL AWARENESS.  I know we talk about it a lot, but I think it bears repeating, especially after reading some of the comments on the FB link.

Photo cred: Google images

Overwhelmingly, the women who were commenting (and there were thousands) thought that this was a good idea and a great way to prevent rape.  In fact, several women commented that if a woman felt uncomfortable in a situation, she could just slip away and insert the Rape-aXe and she would be protected.

God, there are so many things wrong with this type of thinking, I'm not even sure where to start.

First, rape is not a sexual crime! It is a commonly accepted belief by those in the criminal justice system that rape is not a sexual crime.  Rape is all about power and dominance and has absolutely nothing to do with sexual drive, which is why chemical castration of rapists doesn't work.  Those bastards just use a "substitute" phallus.  However, the touchy-feely psychologist types will tell you it's all about sexual gratification. That might be true with date rape, but it is absolutely not true with regard to stranger rape.

Second, let's take a look at the "prevention" of rape by this product.  Rape has been defined as forceful penetration of an orifice (that's a newer definition, the old one was forceful penetration of a vagina, but didn't take into account rectal penetration).  So, if you think of rape as a forceful penetration, the condom doesn't stop the actual rape, it just keeps the perpetrator from "finishing".

But my first two points really don't matter when we look at SITUATIONAL AWARENESS.  When I first read the Facebook post, I kind of snickered and went on with my day.  The attitudes of the commenters who said that if a woman was uncomfortable, she could just insert it and be protected continued to eat away at me.

If a woman felt uncomfortable enough that she felt the need to "slip away" to insert the device, she should slip away and go home! Or some other place.  Why, oh why, would she go back to a situation like that?

I'll tell you why - because as a society, we've raised our girls to be idiots.  We teach them to be nice and not to listen to their instincts.  We teach them that "someone" or "something" will protect them and that it's not their responsibility to take care of themselves.

I'm a firm believer - as you know - in listening to instinct, and I've taught my daughter to do the same.  I have always allowed her to avoid people she felt were "creepers", even if I didn't feel the same way.  In order for her to learn to trust her instincts, I had to show her that I trusted her instincts.  Her reality is different from mine; I can't tell her what to do in any given situation.  I can guide her, I can give suggestions, but we're two different people, with two different lives' worth of experience (mine just happens to be 21 years longer than hers).  A situation that makes her uncomfortable might not have the same impact on me.

There are two things* that I hope I've instilled in my daughter: 1) listen to her gut, if it feels wrong, get out, and 2) pay attention to what is going on around you.  Both of those play into situational awareness.  If you don't know what's going on around you, how does your gut know what's right or wrong?

It's my hope that she knows, deep in her soul, that it is her responsibility to attend to her safety, that waiting for "someone" or "something" to protect her can cost her her life.  Situational awareness, in addition to the wherewithal to remove herself from the situation if it develops around her, can and will save her life.  Not some stupid "toothed condom" that requires her to be raped to work.

*There are actually more than two things I hope she's learned.

Don't forget to check out our Gift Guide.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Christmas Shopping for the Gun Nut

Mom With a Gun had a great post the other day about buying guns for your significant other.  The consensus was to buy training time instead of buying a gun, which I whole-heartedly agree with. 

And then I started thinking about the people I know who offer gun-related services.  This is by no means a comprehensive list.  I'm giving myself a headache trying to remember everyone, so please feel free to add to the list if I forgot you or someone you think should be on the list.  If I missed you, please be assured it was simply cranial flatulence on my part and wan't intended as a slight.

Stocking Stuffers

Gun-shaped soaps - glycerin-based soap with Aloe.  Variety of colors; available in either cucumber-melon or peppermint scent.  $1.50/each + S&H.  Email to order.

Bar soap with embedded gun - glycerin based soap with Aloe.  Variety of colors; available in either cucumber-melon or peppermint scent. $3.00/each + S&H.  Email to order.

Paracord accessories - Southern Winds Solutions and The Asylum Creations offers bracelets, keyfobs and rifle slings.  Mrs Mom has some ungodly number of colors to choose from.  Email to order.

In Colorado, Double Tap Shooting Academy offers a wide variety of shooting instruction.
Mom With a Gun offers shooting and personal defense instruction.  Sadly, I don't know where she's located, but I'm sure if you drop her an email, she'll be happy to talk with you.  I've not met her in person, but I've followed her blog for a while and agree with her instruction philosophies. Edit: she's in Southern California.
Lynne at Female and Armed offers instruction in Virginia.
2A Mama is working in the Dallas, Texas area.  Shepherd K is going to be checking out the shop/range that she recently started working for.
And, of course, A Girl is teaching in Virginia.
The guys at 13 Zulu make custom kydex holsters and do some absolutely amazeballs duracoating.  If you can imagine it, they can duracoat it.  Currently, I'm using a 13 Zulu holster and love it.
This is actually my brother's gun.
Photo cred: 13 Zulu
If you're not a fan of kydex holsters, Dragon Leatherworks does beautiful leather holsters.  I was going to steal a picture to put up, but I couldn't decide on which to put up, so you'll just have to go take a look.
JayWilsonbyDesign still has some GunDiva shirts for sale.  $20 includes shipping.
And just in case you want something that hasn't been covered here, GunGoddess probably has it.

Sunday, November 18, 2012

The Babineaux Method - a bad, bad idea

Before we get into the post, I want to remind everyone of Southern Winds' fundraiser.

Yesterday, Women firearms instructors shared a link on Facebook via Rob Pincus.  Though I'm not friends with Rob, I have utmost respect for both Women firearms instructors and Rob.  I'm absolutely certain they posted the article from as an "Oh My God, who would do this?" thing, because that's exactly how I took it.

The article has since been removed from, so I'll have to summarize it from memory rather than directing you to the article.

Basically, the article suggested that one way to re-holster a striker-fired gun without an external safety was by using the Babineaux Method.  This "method" instructs the shooter to lay his/her finger along the frame, drag it back to the place that would be opposite of the magazine release and then insert their finger into the trigger guard behind the trigger to prevent rearward movement of the trigger.  The thought being that the shooter's finger is a physical block so that there's absolutely no way the trigger can move.

From Google Images
The thing is, that this "method" is being passed off as SAFE. Are you freaking kidding me?

I don't know about you, but this scares the hell out of me.  The old firearms "law" that the fingers must be out of the trigger guard until ready to fire is a "law" for a reason.  Fingers never venture into the trigger guard for any reason unless you're willing to destroy what's in front of the muzzle.

I've never really thought of safe holstering/unholstering as an advanced skill.  Yes, it's a skill, but it is a skill that every shooter should have and be proficient at.  And if you're concerned that your holster will "drag" on your trigger, thus causing an ND, then maybe you should re-think your choice of holster.

I am appalled that this is being passed off as a safe practice for holstering a gun.   All it takes is someone to get in a hurry trying to get their finger behind the trigger guard and Bang!.  It's really not  if it's going to happen, it's when.  It's only a matter of time before someone shoots themself.

Especially if you carry in what I like to call the "pecker wrecker" method like this guy...

From Google Images
I'm interested to hear what you-all think of this.  And it's okay if you think this is the best, safest method on the planet.  Though, I probably won't go shooting with you any time soon. :)

Saturday, November 17, 2012


In continuation from my post the other day, "Travesty of Justice", the cord came in. Courtesy of Kent at ROBBY'S SALES in NC, LIBERTY and supplies have been donated to this cause. Kent, you rock. Without you, this would be a whole lot more difficult.

 Key Fob example: Key Fobs are $2 each.

Bracelets are $5 each.

ALL Monies from the sales of these products (and any custom order rifle slings in the LIBERTY colors) go directly to the family.

As many of you know, I am a wife, mother, and gun toter. When this cord arrived in the mail today, all I could think about was this Mom, on the other side of our great country, trying to handle three kids by herself. Two little ones and a brand new baby. My heart hurts for her. 

But more than that, I am sickened. A good man, who had every RIGHT to legally defend himself using lethal force against THREE attackers who were indeed out to take his life, is sitting in jail. The holiday season is upon us-- and his wife is at home, trying to hold things together for her wee ones. Sure, I know it can be done and IS done all the time. If Daddy is military and deployed, at least Mom can tell the kids, "Hey! Dad is doing a GOOD thing! Yes, we miss him, but we're PROUD of him for serving his country!" But what can she tell the little ones now?? 

And I worry for her. The two reprobates who survived are still out there. They have known connections in very bad places. I hope to God that Mom can shoot and shoot well. I hope to God someone out there is watching HER back. 

And Lord forgive me, I hope that DA chokes on a turkey bone and the freaking bastids who caused so much harm overdose on the pharmaceutical of their choice. 

Ordering information:
BRACELETS: Please send along your size. Measure your wrist, roughly where your watch sits. 
Please specify the number of items you would like. 
Send me a snail mail address.
Paypal payments to

Thank you, everyone. If you have questions, please feel free to email me at the address above. I will keep updating as more information becomes available. Also, the invite to read the story and get to know the players better on Pistol Talk still stands- use my name- Mrs Mathar1- as the magic key to get buzzed in by an admin. 


Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Travesty Of Justice.

This came to my attention today, from a pistol forum I am a member of. Read on... everyone who carries for self defense needs to be aware of this.

**The information below is from a source I trust implicitly. If you would like to contact the gentleman for additional information, please leave a comment on this post or email me directly and I will make it happen. Email is:
~Mrs Mom
**EDIT: If you would like to read this piece on the forum, please visit PISTOL TALK. It is a closed forum, so you will need to be buzzed in by an Admin. The magic key to enter is my name: Mrs MatHar1. Use that and the doors shall open. Act like an ass, and you will be promptly escorted out and the doors will be locked behind you forever.

"DB is sitting in jail, charged with 5 counts of 1st degree murder and a handful of other charges.

Back in April a buddy called him to ask if he could help a girl move some things from her house because she had an abusive boyfriend, and DB had a truck. DB did not know the woman.

DB's wife told him to go help her after dinner and the kids went to bed.

DB was standing on her front porch while she grabbed some bags and belongings. While she was tossing stuff into his truck, one of her friends called her boyfriend and told him that she had a strange guy at the house.

That guy, the boyfriend and one other guy (all 3 convicted felons and known drug dealers) came screeching into the driveway and blocked DB's truck. They jumped out with clubs, knives and brass knuckles and approached DB on the porch. They backed him into the house and proceeded to beat the dog-squeeze
out of him. After taking one good punch to the face with the brass knuckles, DB went down on his back. As the guy with the brass knuckles moved in for the kill, DB drew his licensed Xd .40 and lit all 3 guys up.

One died there. One drove himself away (to the hospital), and the last one collapsed there. DB called 9-1-1, unloaded his pistol, and proceeded to give first aid to the wounded guy (who survived).

The cops showed up and questioned DB and the girl. Their stories matched.

13 detectives ended up working the case. 12 called it “the clearest cut case of self defense they had ever seen.” But the lead detective called it 1st degree murder.

The DA was up for re-election and pushed for trial (he ended up losing the primary, but the new DA also pushed for charges and trial.)

The detective tried to say it was a drug deal gone bad, but toxicology on DB came back clean even though he has a prescription for serious painkillers due to a back and knee injury. Clean for everything.

At a pre trial hearing the judge tried to dismiss the charges, but the lead detective would not drop it. The other 12 detectives said it was all BS and that DB was clean. And it came out that the lead detective never even examined the evidence, including the brass knuckles, clubs, and knives. The brass knuckles were covered with DB's blood.

DB was denied bail, and has been in jail since April. He was due in court this week, but the prosecution just asked for an extension until May 2013.

DB has the two best professional witnesses in the world and both agree that this is the thinnest case they’ve ever seen prosecuted. All of the other cops and detectives have agreed to testify for the defense. The lead detective tried to force DB's wife to testify against him, and she told him he was nuts. He threatened her, and she told him to talk to her attorney. When he found out she really did have an attorney he went nuts. Her attorney had to have the judge intervene to get the detective to back off.

And to top it all off, DB's wife was pregnant when he was arrested and she just gave birth. He now has 3 small children and a wife being harassed by the detective, while he rots in jail.

He has a very good attorney, and everyone is confidant that he will be found not guilty. But the stress and costs are unbelievable.

DB's kids are 7, 5, and a newborn. This young family is being put through Hell, all because a DA is too stupid and cowardly to do the right thing.

To help the family, Southern Winds Solutions will be sponsoring a bracelet drive- all proceeds will go directly to the family. This situation is liable to drag on a considerable amount of time, and I will continue to keep you updated as information becomes available. As more information is available, that will be posted as well.

Again, if you would like to verify this story please feel free to email me at: and I will connect you to the source.

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Thank You!

I'm a little late in posting, but...
Thank You!

I've had multiple family members (Dad, Uncle Russ, Grandpa Moe, Deejo, TF, Tink) and friends (Matt, Matt, the Original Bad Boy, and multiple others) who have served in our armed forces.  I'm so thankful for you.

To "my" CJ - Thank you and I'm so proud of you.  You be careful out there playing with those Marines.

And to Ashinator's bestie, Princeps, be safe.

Thank you isn't enough, but it's all I've got. My love and undying gratitude.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

The First Gun You Buy For Yourself

GunDiva's note: Tara asked me to post this on her behalf.

Me and my XDM, taking our bad selves down to the range.

From a novice’s point of view, buying your first gun might sound like a fairly straightforward, if not exactly simple, process:  go to a gun shop or sporting good’s store, try a few pistols or revolvers out for size, see how they fit, look for a good deal, lay down your money, and you’re good to go.  With expert advice at hand, I have done that more than once, the first time ending up with a Springfield 1911 that I love shooting.  But even though the 1911 was the first gun I paid for and brought home, it wasn’t the first gun I bought for myself.  Coming up with that firearm took five more years.


The difference is subtle but profound.  Buying a gun based on someone else’s expert advice is a very long way from having enough knowledge to make your own informed, personal choice.  This being The GunDivas' blog, I’m specifically curious about women buying guns for themselves.  As for facts, I was unable to find any statistics on the number of women buying guns.   Gun retailers don’t track sales by gender.  A Gallup Poll in Feb. 2012 stated that 23% of women are gun owners, up from 13% in 2005.  What I’m wondering is how many of those women gun owners chose and bought their own guns.  If anyone out there knows, I’d love to hear from you. 


In my experience, personal and anecdotal, men buy most of the guns women own.  Of my own personal firearms, six were either bought for me, or expertly advised for me long before I knew which end was up on a gun, two were inherited, and then there’s the one I bought for myself.  It was a watershed moment in my life as a shooter.


The epiphany came on the second day of a two day, thousand round, barely above freezing, kicked-my-butt tactical class.  I took my handgun to the class, my Springfield 1911.  I took a thousand rounds of .45 ACP ammo (can you hear the cash register ringing?), and I took a good bit of misplaced confidence.  The class was amazing.   It beat the crap out of me, and I couldn’t help but notice that all the guys I was shooting with were faster and smoother and more accurate than me.   Almost to a man, they had these sleek, semi-automatic, 9mm polymer pistols. 

What I was up against at that kick-butt class,
I'm fourth in line, you can see my leg and boot.

We had drills where we practiced racking the slides one-handed, using our boots and our holsters, and all I can say is “unprintable.”  With a leather holster, a 1911, and an 18 lb. recoil spring, I was well on the other side of “not a good idea.”  All the guys with their polymer guns and polymer holsters were breezing through the drills.  When we “buried” a snap-cap in our magazines so we could practice our tap-rack-n-shoot drills, I spent half my time at the reloading table while they were going through their double stack magazines. 


And then it hit me.  I needed a gun I could handle, a gun I could manipulate with ease.  If I wanted to be fast and smooth and safe and in charge, I needed a gun that fit me like it was part of my hand.  Nothing less would do.   The next few months of the hunt were some of the most fun I’ve had.  GunDiva and I spent a lot of time at the Springfield booth at SHOT Show, and in the end, I bought for myself a Springfield XDM 4.5” 9mm.   And it has been exactly what I expected it to be.  Yes, I still shoot all the guns I was given, all the guns the experts advised me to buy, but it wasn’t until I accumulated enough knowledge to figure it out for myself that I got a gun that feels natural in my hand, easy, the gun that fits me like a glove.
--Tara Janzen
The first gun I bought myself,
Springfield XDM 4.5" 9 mm

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Help A Survivor and Help Yourself

Northern Colorado, as a general rule, is a warm, welcoming area.  The people who live there are generous, as evidenced by the MAKE IT RAIN BENEFIT CONCERT that raised tens of thousands of dollars to help the survivors of the Highland Park Fire.

Now, we have the opportunity to help out another survivor.

In July of 2011, Lydia Tillman was attacked and violently raped. In order to save herself, she jumped from her second story apartment to save herself after her attacker set it on fire.

This didn't happen in a "big city", this happened in Fort Collins, Colorado. Yes, Fort Collins is much bigger than it was thirty years ago, but it still has the small town "safe" feel. For years, it has been ranked one of the best places in the nation to live over and over again. Part of the draw is that it has a fairly low crime rate compared to other cities in the state.

Two businesses have teamed up to offer a free self-defense class and fundraiser to help Lydia cope with the medical expenses.  My friend, an instructor with Xodus Group, forwarded this information to me.

FORT COLLINS, CO—Trybz Martial Arts is hosting a free women's self-defense class on Sunday, November 11, 2012 from 2:00 to 4:00 PM, in honor of Colorado rape victim, Lydia Tillman. The event, co-sponsored by Centerra Rock Bottom Brewery and Trybz Martial Arts, hopes to raise awareness and financial support for Lydia Tillman, following her violent attack last year.

Thirty-year-old Tillman was brutally raped on July 5, 2011, and then was forced to jump out of her second story apartment building to survive being burned alive by her attacker. Her attacker was subsequently caught and sentenced, but the injuries Tillman incurred as a result of the attack were catastrophic, as were the expenses related to her treatment.

Trybz Martial Arts is offering its staff and facilities to train women in self-defense techniques, and promote awareness to help them avoid becoming victims of violent crimes.  Trybz Martial Arts and Centerra Rock Bottom Brewery hope the event will draw a large number of participants and donors alike to both empower women and support Tillman's cause.

For more than 25 years, Trybz Martial Arts has been offering students instruction in the original martial arts of Japan, China, and Southeast Asia, and Indonesia. Trybz staff includes two of the highest ranked black belts in Colorado, as well as four Masters in Martial Arts, a Champion MMA fighter, a Muay Thai Champion, and a World Pancrase Champion. Trybz Martial Arts is located at 1128 West Elizabeth St., Fort Collins, CO 80521. For more information contact Trybz Martial Arts at (970) 443-9425 or on the web at