Situational Awareness with Children

I got a question a month or so ago asking how to maintain situational awareness while out with young children.

I haven't been ignoring the question - I've been mulling it over.  I have a few ideas, which I'll share, but we're a pretty good community of shooters and I have no doubt that some of you will have some input as well, so please feel free to add your input in the comment section.

My kids ranged from toddler to pre-school aged when we were being "hunted" (their phrase, not mine), so I can easily envision how difficult it would have been if they had been any younger. 

The transitional areas would be of most concern to me: loading and unloading the kids from the car.  It takes a lot of concentration to get kids wrangled up and strapped into car seats - your focus tends to be on them and not on what's going on around you.

Add in the fact that often your hands are literally full, when your kids are infants, and it can be overwhelming.

One of the first things I would do would be to lighten up.  Literally.  You probably don't need the eighty pound diaper bag with everything but the kitchen sink in it.  When my kids were babies, I literally only carried an extra diaper or two, some wipes, and a spare bottle.  Let me amend that...once I had more than one baby, I pared it down to the above.  A small diaper bag was plenty.  Would it have been nice to have toys, teething rings, and books?  Maybe, but they weren't necessary.  Food and diapers were.  Without an enormous diaper bag, you'll be better able to fight if you have too.  Yes, a heavy bag could be a weapon, but would you really be able to swing it with enough force to do any damage?  You can really wing a small diaper bag around if you have to, plus the weight (or lack thereof) won't throw you off balance.

While we're talking about weight - what about those very nice, very expensive, and very heavy convertable strollers?  Are they comfortable for your child?  Probably.  But are they really necessary?  I watch parents struggle with those all of the time.  If your focus is on breaking down and storing your stroller, can you be aware of what is going on around you?  I would suggest an umbrella stroller.  I know those are so decades ago, but they're sturdy enough to haul your babies and toddlers around and you can break them down one-handed.  They're also light enough that you can swing them at an attacker like a baseball bat if you have to (empty, of course).

Before your kids are old enough to strap themselves into their car seats, you've got to be the one to do it, so how do you keep track of what is going on while you're focused on untangling straps and feeding limbs through the appropriate places?  I would expand your "bubble".  Take a scan of the area before unlocking the car door, make note of who is around and what they are doing.  Think about how big your "bubble" is when you're alone and double it when you've got your kids with you.

After unlocking the car doors, scan again.  Put the baby or toddler in the car seat and scan again before you start with the straps.  If it feels like it's taking longer than usual to strap your child in, scan again.  It's very important to identify a potential threat and that means being aware.  You can't be aware if you're not looking around.  Make it a habit to look around you every few seconds.

As your kids get older, start playing games with them.  "I Spy" is a good one to have them start looking around and noticing what is going on around them. They don't have to know that you're teaching them to notice the world around them - they just think it's fun.

One of the games we used to play was to people watch and make up stories about the people around us.  If the kids came up with a statement like, "that man is mad", I made them explain it to me.  You'd be astounded at how intuitive kids are and how good they are at reading body language.

I am NOT a believer in "stranger danger"; I think kids need to learn to trust their instincts instead of making them afraid of everyone.  I think their intuition needs to be nurtured.  Gavin de Becker's book PROTECTING THE GIFT really helped me out in this sense.  It's an amazing book with real-life, not make-believe, tips to help us keep our kids safe.  There are some gunnies out there who knock him for being an anti-gunner, but I think that's not true.  Here's why I have a hard time believing he's a true anti-gunner: he runs one of the most well-respected, elite Protective Security Services in the world.

We've got lots of parents who are readers, what are some of your tips for situational awareness with kids?  What worked for you?  What didn't?

Who Is GunDiva? Part III

If you're just joining us, you can get caught up by reading Part I and Part II.

I've been stalling writing this part, so please forgive me if it's kind of choppy and vague (I'll try to write cohesive sentences).  I didn't realize, until I started this series how tough it was going to be to re-visit the past.

Part of the reason that Crazy B wanted to become a certified Protection Specialist was that he'd already wrangled up a client; the wife of a prominent doctor who was being stalked.  Her husband knew of Crazy B's law enforcement background and approached him about his wife's little stalker problem.  Crazy B even managed to talk the client into paying for his certification. 

We did the paperwork to become an S-corp and went into business. 

I complete his course work, he completed his Resident Training and our price went up.  The plan was for us to get the business off the ground and then I would attend ESI. 

During the brief period of time we were in business, he'd purchased a little Beretta Bobcat .25 caliber for me to carry while we were working.  Keep in mind that we didn't have CCWs, we didn't have a Sheriff who supported the CCW law.  Crazy B managed to talk a friend of his, who happened to be Chief of Police in another city, into issuing him a CCW so that he could carry legally.  I could not, which was the reasoning behind buying me the Noisy Cricket. 

Very long story short: Crazy B ran up a lot of bills, slept with our client, pissed off the other protection agency in town and ended up running off to Texas, where he spent some time in jail and I got to deal with the FBI (and the very pissed off other protection agency).


When he ran off to Texas, I kept my gun.  Turns out that was a very smart move.

I chalked it up to a tough lesson learned and wrote him off.


And then he returned.  The man who slept with our client, destroyed our business (not to mention what little relationship we'd had), came back and had the audacity to get upset when he found out I'd moved on.  Like upset enough to start threatening my new boyfriend.  Like upset enough to start slashing my tires.  Like upset enough to start being a royal pain in the butt and make me start carrying 24/7, CCW be damned.

I went everywhere with that Noisy Cricket, it never left my hip.  I had it within arm's reach when I showered.  I kept it in my CD holder above my sun visor in the car.  When I was on campus, it was in a small, easily accessible compartment in my computer bag. 

I. Was. Never. Unarmed. Ever.

Thank God for de Becker.  I found him while I was doing Crazy B's coursework for ESI.  I kept the books.  They were such a great help during all of this.

I Don't Even Know What To Say

Well, actually I do.  I saw this little gem pop up on MSN today: Man Stabs 28 Children.

Really?  I know that the mental health system is shaky at best in China and that they're blaming this recent rash of attacks on the mentally ill.  But really?  Attacking four year-olds?

The school officials have admitted that security could be improved.  You think?  A man walked into a kindergarten, slashed his way through a security guard and two teachers before carving up the kids.

Now, I know some of you are expecting me to jump on here and spout off that the teachers or security guards should have been armed.  After all, I am GunDiva.  But guess what?  I'm not going to.  I'm not sure that this could have/would have been prevented by an armed employee.  The attacker was subdued by a delivery man with a fire extinguisher.  Remember, that our best defense is our brain.  The delivery man used his brain and a handy weapon to subdue the attacker.

Anything - and I mean anything - can be used as a weapon.  We just need to open our eyes and our minds.  Just because the bad guys have a gun (or a knife) and we don't doesn't mean the battle is over, it just means we need to use our brains and be a little more inventive in our choice of defensive weapons.

I'm not trying to scare anyone by saying that anything can be used as a weapon; that's not my point at all.  We shouldn't be afraid because anything can be used as a weapon, we should be empowered!

And, wow, this post went in a totally different direction than I thought it would, but I'm not changing a thing about it.  I will, however, get to where I thought I was going.  One of the best gifts we can give our children is the gift of knowing that they can defend themselves no matter how small they are.  The confidence that they can do something about "bad guys" is the best gift we can give them.  The thing that broke my heart about this attack (besides the fact that some deranged madman attacked four year-olds) is that, by culture, Chinese children are obedient and subordinate.  Sometimes, it's good for children to be disobedient and insubordinate.

Of course, news like this is bound to make any parent anxious.  Heck, any news at all is bound to make parents anxious.  I am an unabashed fan of Gavin de Becker's work.  When Crazy B was stalking me (yes, I know we haven't gotten to that point yet), I found a lot of comfort in Mr. de Becker's work.  As my children became more independent and wanted to do things "all by themselves", I found comfort in Mr. de Becker's work.  Because of that, I'm going to give away a copy of THE GIFT OF FEAR and a copy of PROTECTING THE GIFT to two of our commenters.  Be sure to comment before midnight (MST) on Sunday, May 2nd to be eligible for the drawing.

Those of you who have read de Becker will think it's rather funny that I'm touting his books because he comes across as very anti-gun.  He's a man who carries a gun for a living and hires people who carry guns for living.  My interpretation (I've never had the opportunity to meet the man face-to-face) is that he's anti-gun in the respect that people buy guns to "protect themselves", but are not fully trained or mentally capable of taking another's life.  In that, I support him.  There is a definite mindset about carrying for protection, but we'll explore that at another time.