Monday, August 5, 2019

Mistaken Couple-dom

I ran into one of my oldest shooting buddies today at the grocery store where he works. I had some things for him, so I ran out to my car to grab the bag of goodies I've been driving around with for months. When I got back in the store, I handed him the bag and gave him a big side hug. One of the customers looked over and said, "that's so sweet, you guys are so cute together!"
I was stunned into silence for a moment, then laughed and said, "thanks, I'll be sure to tell his wife." Robbie said, "and I'll be sure to tell her husband."
I realized she thought I was his wife bringing him lunch and I'm flattered she thought we were a cute couple.
And then I started thinking ... whenever I'm with a male shooting buddy, people assume we're a couple. Always. Doesn't matter which one I'm with: John, Mez, Robbie, Mike, any of them.
So then I started thinking (always a dangerous thing), WHY do people think that I'm "with" a male friend? Is it because they can't wrap their heads around the fact that I can be friends with men?
Or is it because there's an easy (but platonic) intimacy with someone you spend a lot of time with, especially when the time you're spending with them involves deadly weapons? I spend a lot of time with my friends at the range watching them carefully, and vice versa. You get into a rhythm of anticipating what they're going to do or what they're going to need. Shooting can be a very collaborative thing, and I think after spending countless hours and rounds down range that intimacy naturally develops.
All of my shooting buddies pre-date my marriage, so I'm thankful that I have a husband who is not at all bothered by this.
Have you noticed this? Have you and a shooting buddy ever been mistaken for a couple? Why do you think that is?

3 comments:

Avan said...

Number of female shooting buddies: 0
Number of female friends who cannot comprehend having male friends as a married (for 14+ years) woman: all of them.
I’ve been mistaken as being on dates more times than I care to.

GunDiva said...

So weird isn't it?

Witold Pilecki said...

It happens to my wife and her friend Patty all the time. I believe it is the "over-sexualization" of our society in general, that somehow two people with common interests enjoying each others company must be in some kind of "other than platonic" relationship. I do not think this way, and it is the same line of reasoning corporate diversity training is lost on me.

I blew a job interview for FEDEX because I answered their questions regarding diversity honestly. They asked that if I were in charge of a special project, what considerations I would use to assemble a team. I knew right then and there I was toast....but I let `em have it anyway. I told them I do not look at people that way, and assembling a team based on gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation and all the other qualifiers would not guarantee me the best people for the job, only that I met some arbitrary management quotas. I want people QUALIFIED to do the tasks required for success, not to right some imagined wrong of the past I had nothing to do with. I reminded them that Dr. King longed for the day his children were judged on the content of their character, not the color of their skin. Achieving diversity in the corporate world is done by separating people into different groups and counting to see how many [BLANKS] you have, then hiring those people that fit the category they are lacking in. As you may guess I was not hired, but the stunned looks on their stupid faces will be treasured in my mind forever.