I've been carrying in my CanCan holster, but I'm really short waisted, so I have to carry at 12:00 otherwise the gun jabs into my thigh.
Anyway, I've had three children vaginally and I'm on the backside of my forties, so sneezing is always an adventure.
You know ... sneeze and pee, sneeze and pee.
Really the only way to keep from peeing is to squeeze my legs really tight and lean forward a touch when I sneeze. It's a maneuver I've pretty much perfected.
So last night, I get home and I'm walking into the house when I feel a sneeze come on, so I assume the position: legs clamped tight, bent a bit at the waist.
And then I sneezed.
Holy mother of God, it wasn't a little sneeze like I was prepared for, it was a sneeze from my f*cking toes. My abdomen tightened up and I doubled over with the sneeze. In doing so, the muzzle of my Glock *slammed* into my pelvic bone.
Like, SLAMMED into my pelvic bone.
I now have a muzzle-shaped bruise just above my hooha.
#arentyougladyoureadthispost #shortgirlproblems #kegelsdontactuallywork #onlyIwouldhurtmyselfsneezing