Tuesday, September 20, 2016

Printing, but not the way you think.

I've been carrying in my CanCan holster, but I'm really short waisted, so I have to carry at 12:00 otherwise the gun jabs into my thigh.

Anyway, I've had three children vaginally and I'm on the backside of my forties, so sneezing is always an adventure.

You know ... sneeze and pee, sneeze and pee.

Really the only way to keep from peeing is to squeeze my legs really tight and lean forward a touch when I sneeze. It's a maneuver I've pretty much perfected.

So last night, I get home and I'm walking into the house when I feel a sneeze come on, so I assume the position: legs clamped tight, bent a bit at the waist.

And then I sneezed.

Holy mother of God, it wasn't a little sneeze like I was prepared for, it was a sneeze from my f*cking toes. My abdomen tightened up and I doubled over with the sneeze. In doing so, the muzzle of my Glock *slammed* into my pelvic bone.

Like, SLAMMED into my pelvic bone.

I now have a muzzle-shaped bruise just above my hooha.

#arentyougladyoureadthispost #shortgirlproblems #kegelsdontactuallywork #onlyIwouldhurtmyselfsneezing

5 comments:

Momma Fargo said...

One. I laughed until I peed. So sorry. Be nice to your hoohah. Some day we might step on them but hopefully not. Gravity.

Tiffany Bleger said...

Oh. My. This. Is. Amazing!!! I'm totally squeezing and laughing so I don't pee a little.

Daddy Hawk said...

You know...if pistol whopping the hoohah is a potential side effect of your method of carry, perhaps it's not for you.

Double Tap said...

I'll have to comment again when I stop crying....

GunDiva said...

Just keeping it real for y'all.

No one ever talks about the "dark" side of CC. The pinched boobs or boob callouses (Flashbang) and the tattoo'd hoohas. I'm just here to help.